dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize