I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
