in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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