Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
