just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
