like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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