there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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