i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
