seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
