I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize