I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
