Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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