I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
