that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize