It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
