Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
