Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
