ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
