I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
