how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
