glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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