conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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