well I can't set my house on fire every night
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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