Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
