chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
