AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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