If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
