As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
