so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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