after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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