I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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