I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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