I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
