i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
