whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize