ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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