Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
