Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
