just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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