I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Shame is for Republicans.
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