Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
