apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
