She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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