i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
