ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
