I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she told me i tasted like america
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
third nipple confirmed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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