No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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