Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm really busy with my period
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