I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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