Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
