i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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