Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
