with your own penis?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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