Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize