Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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