I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm both gender and math confused
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
