How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
