the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
