so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm bleeding and have questions
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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