umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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