new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
