Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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