I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
