the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
