they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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