her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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