she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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