So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
